


Love Me Like We Aren't Broken Boys

by Enbies_Committing_Felonies



Category: Keeper of the Lost Cities Series - Shannon Messenger
Genre: 'no reason to worry', Angst with a Happy Ending, Bad Parent Alden Vacker, Homophobia, M/M, There's swearing, YOU ARE THE REASON TO BE WORRIED, and want to kiss him?, fellas is it gay to paint your homie?, keefe only knows how to run from his emotional problems, keefe the artist, noooo don't be homophobic Alden. You're so sexy aha, sir
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2021-01-14
Updated: 2021-01-14
Packaged: 2021-03-12 03:47:43
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,154
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/28753866
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Enbies_Committing_Felonies/pseuds/Enbies_Committing_Felonies
Summary: Keefe thinks he screwed everything up, Fitz thinks he is a screw-up, and Alden actually IS a screw-up.
Relationships: Keefe Sencen/Fitz Vacker
Comments: 12
Kudos: 28





	Love Me Like We Aren't Broken Boys

**Author's Note:**

> Me being against homophobic parents?? It's more likely than you think.

Keefe let himself go numb as he sketched. Normally drawing helped him focus his emotions, understand them, and then release them, but today... Today he wanted to never feel again.

A stroke of light pink, a stroke of dark. A shade of blue, a shade of brown. Underlying red, underlying yellow. Highlight and shade. Erase, repeat.

Keefe finally let himself look at his drawing and his jaw tightened. 

Fitz.

His throat grew thick and his eyes burned. He might never get to see his best friend again, and it was all his fault.

~~

_“Keefe, what do you need?” Alden’s voice was calm, and Keefe was glad that his father-figure was always so... unconcerned._

_“I... I wanted to ask if I could stay at your place for awhile.”_

_“Why, of course Keefe. You are always welcome here. Why this change and the concern? I’m sure there’s no reason to worry.” The Vackers had offered to house him more than once in the past, but Keefe had always turned them down._

_“I’m... I’m going to come out to my father. I don’t exp-”_

_“Come out?” Alden’s voice seemed chillier, somehow._

_“Yeah. About that...Alden, I’m gay.”_

_There was no denying the way Alden’s emotions twisted into a hard knot of anger and disgust._

_“Get out.”_

_“What?! Alden please!” Keefe didn’t know exactly what to say, but the idea that his father-figure wouldn’t accept him had never crossed his mind. He had thought Alden was safe, he had planned on him being the first because he thought that he would support him and now-_

_“GET OUT!! I forgive you being sent as a spy against my son, I forgive you joining the Neverseen, I treat you as my own child!! And THIS is how you repay me?! You willingly choose a lifestyle that not only degrades the worth of your genetics, but you sully my family’s reputation by having been once considered a son. LEAVE. MY. SIGHT. You aren’t welcome here.”_

_Keefe stumbled back, stunned. Then he turned, eyes burning and chest so tight he felt he might be dying. His hand hesitated on the door knob._

_“Alden, I-”_

_“You are indeed the disappointment your father always knew you to be.”_

_Keefe’s knees buckled and he barely made it out of the door before the first boiling tears fell._

_“Keefe? What are you-” Keefe stumbled past Fitz and out the door, breaking into a run. Fitz chased after him, but even though he was athletic, Keefe had always been the faster one. He made it out past the gate, and tears blurred his vision as he fumbled for a crystal._

_“Keefe! Wait! What’s going on?!”_

_Keefe leapt away._

_~~_

“Keefe.” Fitz’s voice startled Keefe, and he scrambled to hide the drawing against his chest, and compose himself.

“Yeah Fitzy?”

“Don’t hide from me Keefe. What’s going on? I saw you run-”

“Nothing’s going on, Wonderboy. I just had to scoot because I didn’t want Ro to get a chance to prank me before I got back.”

“Keefe.” Fitz swallowed and Keefe found himself focusing on his Adam’s apple, the soft skin of his neck, his chest heaving.

“Keefe, please don’t lie to me. Please...” Keefe could barely tear his eyes away from the wrinkled material at Fitz’s neck.

He tried to say it jauntily, but it came out strangled when he finally managed, “Now, why would I do that Fitzy?”

Fitz stumbled slightly, like it hurt that Keefe wouldn’t tell him, like maybe he actually meant it when he had finally said he was sorry for not trusting him, like he actually meant it that time when they were playing tackle bramble and they had tumbled to the ground and Fitz was laughing and he rolled over and he had said “You know Keefe, you’re still my best friend. You know that, right?”, like Keefe was even capable of being loved, of being friends, let alone best friends, with someone. Like Fitz still wanted to be his friend.

But Keefe knew better. So why in the name of the councilors did Fitz even try?

“Shut up.” Fitz whispered, “Shut up Keefe. You don’t need to tell me, but never lie to me. Never do that Keefe, please.” His voice was so broken that Keefe wondered if he just might mean it...

“Okay Fitz, I won’t. I promise.” He purposefully ignored his heart beat. He didn’t want to know if it skipped three times.

They stood there for a moment, Keefe with the sketch pressed against his chest, Fitz with chest heaving and a broken look in his teal eyes. Then Fitz took two quick steps and gathered Keefe in his arms.

“C’mere Keefe. I might not know what’s wrong, but I know something is, and I’m still your best friend, whether you like it or not.”

As Fitz buried his nose into his neck, Keefe had to force himself not to cry at the barrage of fondness, melancholy, and _trust_ hurled at him. There was something beneath all of that too, something akin to fear, but Keefe didn’t press to understand. 

He let Fitz hold him.

~~

“Keefe?” Fitz ventured.

“Yeah Fitzroy?” Keefe lifted his head from where it rested on Fitz’s shoulder. They were sitting on a bench, Fitz’s arm around his shoulder, in a garden Keefe had made with the help of a few gnomes when he was ten. Cassius got a second mansion, Keefe got a mud place. Whatever, at least it was his and his alone.

Or, his and Fitz’s now. Keefe didn’t know how to feel about that, but it wasn’t quite unpleasant.

“I was just wondering... would you... are you.... Are you safe, Keefe? You could- You could stay with me if you need to- ?” 

Keefe snorted bitterly and the vitriolic words escaped him before he had time to think, “No I couldn’t.” He said with a snarl. He recoiled at the guilt and hurt Fitz felt at those words, but he didn’t take them back.

Fitz had said not to lie, and the words were true, no matter how he had said them.

He tried again. “Alden has... made it clear you guys don’t have the space to waste on me.”

Fitz’s eyes grew stormy.

“What do you mean?” He growled, dangerously calm. Keefe tried to backpedal but it was too late.

“What do you mean, Keefe.” His teal eyes were steely and Keefe swallowed.

“Please Fitz, its not a problem, seriously.”

“DAMMIT KEEFE, FUCKING TELL ME WHAT MY ASSHOLE OF A FATHER DID!!” Fitz was breathing hard, and Keefe curled into himself at his shouting.

“He just... It’s... It’s _FINE_ Fitzy boy, just let it go. It’s not a big deal, it’s just me.” How could Keefe tell him? Fitz was his father’s son, through and through. Keefe had thought Alden was safe, and now...

Fitz took a shuddery breath, obviously trying hard to keep his temper under better control. 

“It’s NOT fucking fine Keefe. It’s hurting _you_ , and that means it’s hurting _me_. I’m not gonna let my father ruin your life. You already have someone doing that. Just- just tell me quick and it’ll be over. It’ll be okay once it’s out.” 

Keefe highly doubted that, but he took a breath anyway and blurted, “I told your father I’m gay and now he hates me and I deserve it.”

Oh. There was no going back now.

Sometime during their brief argument, Keefe had pulled away from Fitz, but now he wished for nothing other than to be touching him in some way. To understand even an inkling of what Fitz was thinking behind his expressionless face. He looked down and pulled his knees up to his chest. He should have known better.

His breath caught when he felt Fitz grab his chin gently and tip it up, so he had no choice but to make eye contact. There was no disgust, there was no fear, no anger. There was... Hope? And affection?? And then Keefe found himself pulled into a bear hug. A hug that only Fitz could give: full of love and strength and gentle at the same time.

“You have never deserved any of the hate you have received. You are amazing, and you are not a failure, and you have never been a disappointment. Okay?” Fitz pulled away slightly in order to verify that Keefe accepted his words, and Keefe nodded, not trusting his voice past a watery ‘okay’.

Fitz softened, “Good.” Then he flushed and pulled away from Keefe, but not before the blond boy could feel a swirl of anxiety.

“I’m uh... I’m not straight either. But I don’t- I don’t know what I am and my dad... If he reacted so badly to _you_...” His nose flared as his heart began racing, and Keefe could feel his fear though the air between them.

Keefe stubbornly ignored the thrill in his heart at Fitz admission, and tried to think.

“So... do you think if Alden knew, he would-”

“Don’t.” Fitz interrupted, “I don’t want to think about that. He’s a dickwad apparently and his opinion doesn’t matter anyway.” He looked so small and worried. His shoulders caved forward like his body was trying to protect itself from the world, and Keefe ached for him.

Gently, he took Fitz’s hand in his, and this time he was the one to wrap his arms around the other. He used his free hand to brush Fitz’s hair away from his forehead and placed a delicate kiss on the top of his head.

“It will be okay Fitz. I promise,” He whispered into the silence.

“I promise.”

~~

Keefe hated making promises, but Fitz had managed to extract two from him in a single day. He marveled at that, and his heart swelled with hope. Maybe he did have a chance with his best friend.

Then again, maybe Keefe was just really stressed out about his asshole of a father. Fitz hadn’t been the best friend to Keefe recently, and it was extremely unlikely Keefe would ever like him back. Especially since Fitz couldn’t even figure out what the hell his sexuality was.

Who could ever want to be with a fuck-up like him?

“I don’t know what you’re thinking Fitzroy, but you need to stop it right now. I’m not having any of that self-hatred on my watch.”

“But I-”

“You are called Wonderboy for a reason, and that reason is because you are wonderful and thoughtful and you love making presents for people and you are my best friend. No ‘but’s.”

Fitz growled and pulled his head up from Keefe’s shoulder.

“I’m a fuck-up Keefe. I can never live up to people’s expectations and I disappoint everyone I meet. There’s no logical reason you should even consider me a friend, let alone your best friend! I literally-” 

“Fucking shut up Fitzroy Vacker.”

And then Keefe was kissing him and somehow Fitz found himself being pushed against the back of the bench as Keefe rotated and flung a leg over his lap, successfully pinning him as he straddled his lap. Fitz’s mind went blank as his ears blushed and his heart raced, but he managed to kiss back and was even conscious enough to place one hand on Keefe’s hip, and the other at the base of Keefe’s neck, tangling with his hair.

Keefe pulled away first, eyes wide and face flushed down to the roots of his tousled blond hair. Breathing heavy, he gave a crooked grin.

“I guess kissing does shut you up.”

“You asshole.” Fitz tugged him closer again, pausing just before their lips connected, “May I kiss you, Keefe Sencen?”

“Fucking _please_ ,” Keefe said, nodding, breathless and smiling wonderingly.

Keefe’s slender artist hands cradled Fitz’s face as he leant in and kissed him. It was softer this time, but just as sweet, and it left Fitz with butterflies in his chest.

Keefe mumbled something against Fitz’s swollen lips, and he had to pull away.

“I’m sorry, come again?”

Keefe rested their foreheads together, “I said ‘maybe I shouldn’t consider you my friend, because I’d like to consider you my boyfriend’.”

Fitz tried to process Keefe’s words, but his brain was foggy from the kissing.

“You’d want... me... You want me to be... your boyfriend? Even though I’m broken??” He glanced hopefully into Keefe’s gentle blue eyes.

“Fitz, I’d love nothing more in the whole wide world. As long as you love me like we aren’t both broken boys.” Fitz didn’t believe for a second that Keefe was broken, but he nodded and swallowed hard.

“I’d love to be your boyfriend Keefe,” He managed a hesitant smirk, “As long as I keep getting to kiss you like that.”

Keefe’s eyes glittered as he laughed, and he didn’t wait for a reply before grabbing Keefe’s hips and making him rest completely on Fitz’s lap.

He kissed Keefe’s smiling mouth, and let himself hope about the future.

**Author's Note:**

> Fellas, is it gay to straddle your best friends lap as you kiss him??
> 
> If you liked it please comment :))


End file.
